Sunday November 20, 2011

When morning finally came on Sunday we awoke to nurses telling us to come see...Andrew was awake, sitting up and looking fairly like himself.  The doctors had pumped him full of drugs the night before and all the fluids and meds had given him a big boost.  He was chatting with the nurses and was reading his blog on on his iPad.  He told us that he didn't know what was going on so he decided to read his blog to find out what happened to him - he said it was like reading a newspaper.  He was joking and in good spirits.  In the blog post I had written about him the night before, I had described his state as "critical" and he asked me why I said that.  My heart broke - he either had no idea that he was dying or he just had so much hope he wouldn't believe it.  But I had to joyfully tell him that it wasn't a big deal and that we were just really worried about him last night because he wasn't feeling well.  I saw in his eyes that he knew I wasn't telling the truth.  He had a sort of scared look, but didn't want to come to terms with it.  Andrew's social worker and chaplin, with whom he was very close to, both advised us that Andrew needed to die with hope in his heart, so it was not up to us to give him the hard facts.  It was what he wanted and we complied.  We were, however, joyful that he had made such a turnaround.  We really feel like Andrew gave us this last week to be with him all together.

It ended up being a really peaceful and meaningful day.  Andrew decided he needed a haircut so we called his barber in to cut his hair.  He needed the dignity to feel like himself.  His barber friend even agreed to allow Andrew to pay for his haircut.  I think it again helped him feel normal and that maybe everything would be ok.  Andrew's closest friends gathered for Sunday football and Aunt Ingrid and others came and showered us with sandwiches and food.  It was a fun and festive time for Andrew - to get to watch football with his buddies.  I spent most of the day between his room and our private family room.  The day was a gift - Andrew was talking, watching football and surrounded by those who loved him.