February

This month sure is a drag! Especially since we spent the first week in Maui (that post is coming!). Tyler has been on a few work trips this month, my kids have been sick and the weather has been cold and rainy. Plus, the daily grief of missing my brother and trying to wade through what that means has all added up to a long month that I'd love to soon forget. However, we have had several moments and days of fun and joy. I am trying to focus on that, although the weight of the grief is sometimes just too heavy. I am trying to be very gentle to myself, even though taking care of myself is often the last priority. I am focusing on simple things I can work into my busy every day life. I know that this journey of grief is long, so I am being patient and ready to settle in for the long haul.

But, oh, every day I just wish Andrew were here! That's the part that seems unbearable. The loss of the friendship is huge in my life. He was my mentor, my greatest fan and my best friend. To go from communicating with a person on a daily basis to one day nothing is completely startling. And it's not just for one day or a week or even a month. It's for the rest of my entire life. I will never again get to see him or talk to him or know everything about his life and he about mine. Not until it is my time to die and we can be reunited in heaven. I have now become obsessed with heaven and want to read and know all about it. Andrew is there, and I want to know what it's like! I have also been soaking up books about the meaning of life as well as books on grief. They seem to offer the healing salve that my heart needs.

Now on to pictures of my kids. This month we've been busy with preschool, birthday parties, dinner with friends, sledding and walking/bike riding when we can. I seem to be seriously slack in the photo taking department lately. I take a lot of pictures with my phone and post them to instagram, so follow me there if you're not! (ekdenton)

For Valentines day we went all out and make cards, cookies and set the table for a super fun family dinner

Sometimes things get a little crazy around here

Drinking their breakfast smoothies in pj's in front of the fire...so cozy!

Sonja's first painting venture. She loved it and kept screaming at me for more paint!

My super funny 17 month old

We spent all of yesterday in our pj's playing around the house. (And I can't ever get Riley to look at the camera!)