Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A little update

The last 4 months of my life have been a whirlwind, yet they feel like a lifetime. I'm not sure if anyone is even still reading this, but I enjoy posting photos of my kids here, so I'm going to give this a try again.

If you don't know what I've gone through, you can read my brother Andrew's blog by clicking here. Andrew died on November 26, 2011 after living with cancer for 3 years. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and loving during this process. And really, the process of grieving has just begun. It has actually gotten worse and harder as time has continued forward. I think we were all protected in a bubble those first few weeks, motivated by the details we had to take care of and running on some kind of adrenaline. But now, as everyone has gone back to their lives, we are left with the emptiness and it just feels awful. Since my kids are young and demanding, I am often caught up in the day to day and march through the motions of my responsibilities. Whenever I have a quiet moment, the grief overtakes me and I am at a loss as to what to feel or think. It feels impossible that I have to live the rest of my life without Andrew, my brother and most favorite person. I'm sure I'll write about the process and my thoughts about it in this space from time to time. Mostly I'd like to continue to post about our weekly happenings, as now the small moments seem so much more relevant to me. And finding something to smile about (my kids!) is healing too.

October 2011:

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My mom, siblings & I, the night before the run/walk at Greenlake that benefited Andrew. Watch a short video capturing the turnout here.

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Halloween 2011 - yep, I dressed up as Snow White!

November 2011:

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My baby turns 4 and we throw her a fancy tea party!

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Thanksgiving 2011 ~ last thanksgiving and photo with Andrew

December 2011:

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The day after Andrew's service we ride the monorail, visit the Space Needle and do downtown with Tyler's mom
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Riley's first Nutcracker

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Preschool Christmas program, Riley is a mouse in the manger scene

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Santa Train, an annual tradition. I love that Sonja is screaming. It's classic!

Hope to be back here soon.

3 comments:

Kristen Gough said...

we love you all and continue to pray for you, elizabeth. I would love to watch your girls anytime you're down this way, or go out with you for coffee (if our moms can watch our kids!) and just spend time with you as you process. you are so deeply in my heart during these days.

and your blog-- your thoughts and photos of your beautiful family-- is such a gift! what a joy to see these great photos! i will always be a faithful reader! :) xoxo

the o's said...

you did it! you're caught up! so glad to have you back in blogworld - love seeing pics of you guys.

as always, loving you guys and praying for you tons..

vale said...

Elizabeth- since I don't get to see you and your kiddos in person enough I like to see your blog. It is a great place to capture thoughts about life now and in the future. Glad to see you are back. Yes, enjoy the little moments- they are important too.